Love is...

As we get ready to prepare for Valentine's Day... I began to consider the meaning of love. What is it? Have I ever known it? Do I want to live without it? Think of the different types of love that we experience in our lifetime... significant other love, child's love, parental love, family love and the list could go on and on.

I think to all the songs that have been written about love. What it makes you feel... what life is like when it's gone... Hallmark and the like make a great deal off of the day that is supposed to show the world how much you love someone. Some prefer the traditional card and chocolates, others prefer theirs drenched in diamonds, still others simply need to hear the words I love you. To make it all worth it.

When I was in Elementary school, Ms. Giles my day care teacher made us memorize
1. Corinthians 13:4-8a. For those of you concerned with a separation between church and state, I attended Christian school so this wasn't some zealot teacher trying to change the world by sharing the word of God. When I sit and think of the people who I have cared about I often compare the biblical definition of love to what I experienced with that individual. Here is the passage for those who don't have Bible handy :)

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.

Can you imagine? Loving someone or knowing a love like that? It is what I call love perfectus. Hehe, okay so I don't have a degree in Latin. But essentially I am saying that the love described is PERFECT LOVE.

One of my readings today argued that it is not a feeling. In fact love is a committment. I didn't really see the difference initially, but then I started to think about it. I mean we have all had butterflies when we thought about that special someone, but love goes beyond that. It says, that I will be patient and kind. Now think about the last time your significant other pissed you off. He forgot your birthday, bought the ice cream he liked but you hated, or didn't notice the haircut you just spent 100 bucks on. Maybe, it was the fact that she bought tickets to see the Blueman Group the same night as the NBA playoffs, perhaps it was the fact that she used your razor when you know she has that one with aloe vera strip she could have used and didn't clean it out, it may have been the time that she tried to fix something broken and not only made the matter worse, but lost your favorite tool. Were you kind and patient then?

What about he envy, boasting, or proud part? Remember the check that your mom sent you to get you through the month, that he called you spoiled about? Remember your reaction when she told you she got a raise and thought that you would be happy for her, and you mumbled something like a congratulations? Where was the love?

Think back to all those relationships that you gave more than you received. Or the time when you dated someone based on their potential rather than what you really felt for them. You saw the dollar signs in the finance major. You peeked at that A+ credit and began to think about your dream house and a new car! Love is NOT self seeking. It is something that is shared. That means that it isn't about me.. it's about us.

Consider for a moment when someone ticked you off and you immediatly responded with a negative word or emotion. This was the person that you love. I think about how quick kids can tick you off. They make mistakes and they are new to them. They are learning. My nieces are pieces of work. The oldest is 4 going on 40 and she does some stuff that really irks me... but she is a child. I have to sometimes stop myself when getting ready to respond to something that she has done. Love is not easily angered... but as people sometimes we are.

Love keeps no record of wrongs. That's a good one! Remember that time when it was my birthday and you forgot to call. The time when I cooked for two hours expecting you home at 6 and you didn't come home until 930? Or the time when the kids were hoping that you would take them to the ball game but you said you were too tired... Too many times we say I forgive you but maintain a tally of failures. Remember that Dianna Ross Barbie doll that your sister stole the rhinestone earrings out of? Your favorite shirt that came back with a bleach stain? There is some truth to the belief that you must forgive and FORGET. Perhaps that originator of that knew the WORD.

It does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth, it always protects, always hopes and always perseveres... LOVE NEVER fails...

To date, the only love I have known like this is God's love. If we are all made in his image I know that it is possible to know love like this from the man that God sends me. We are human and subject to short comings but I dream of the man that can be all that God wants him to be... and all that I need... to get by...