Teaching ain't easy.

As you know I am a teacher. I take my job and my career extremely seriously. Children are variables and I guess we all are. I am extremely spiritual and intuitive and I can pick up on a lot of the pain of my students. Sometimes I let them know and other times I allow them to come to me. I teach high school and many of my students struggle with issues of sexuality. Girls come to me crying... how could he... he said... I can't believe... why me?

You can infer the meaning of where I am taking this...

The problem is that sex was never a problem for me in high school. I was focused on school and didn't really give boys that kind of power. I know how I was about just kissing someone... I was in LOVE. So what kind of warped mind would I have been with all of those emotions running rampant through me in high school if I made them more complex by bringing sex into the equation.

Fast forward to a student I will call Shaunie. Her mother is an alcoholic/past drug abuser/possibly current. She is the youngest of 4 children. She is her mother's only girl. Long story short she takes on a lot of what is going on at home because she feels that she has to. I am the child of an alcoholic but I thank God it wasn't my mother. However, my dad warped me enough for me to understand my issues with relationships :) But this isn't about me. Yesterday, I was setting up the classroom for a new seating chart.

Shaunie and another girl proceed to cuss a young man out and tell him to shut up. I told them both to shut up. I am trying to get something done here. Not the most grown up response but I was cramped for time and I am real sick of this kid dominating with her bullying ways. I realize that she is acting out, but when is enough, enough? She said, "Who are you talking to?" Her sidekick bowed out of the conversation, she knew better. But not Shaunie. I replied, "I am talking to you!" I raised my voice a little but still not yelling. In an instant I had already decided I was sending her to the office. She said, "Kick me out then just like you did Friday" That will be a whole other post later. I said, "Bye" oh about 5 times as she walked out my classroom she said "Whatever, your nothing to me." and in one split instant knowing that it would jab I said, "You've been nothing to me" and she walked out.

Teachers are people too. Five years into the game I have taken off my rose colored glasses and come to the conclusion that I will never reach all of the students I work with. At best, I will reach 50% and statistically that is not really in my favor. This morning, I had to say a prayer. One for forgiveness for my actions, and another one for Shauniee. I pray that God heals her pain, and gives her something positive to hold on to. She has already decided that sex may be a way out, but I pray that she stops on that road before something irreversable happens...

Who said teaching was easy?