All I ever really wanted...

So recently I was hired to do my thing, in educational reform. It is exciting and nerve racking all at the same time. You ever feel like you have waited your entire life for a moment and you wonder if it will be all that you hoped it would be? I am at that moment right now... I am tired and drained and staying at my auntie's house which is more than a notion!

I am ready to have my own despite my current limited resources. I have started the PAID training for my job which is a good thing but I really just want my own place. Its hard living out of suitcases despite the hospitality of family... You never want to impose. You still feel like an outsider no matter how large the welcome mat.

The time difference hasn't sunk in quite yet. So you spend sleep hours awake and wake hours wishing you were sleep. Funny how what you thought you wanted... I mean what you truly in you heart of hearts believed was where you wanted to be... Feels even less like home in this very instant than you ever imagined it would be. So part of you anxiously anticipates the fact that the best is yet to come... While the other part of you longs for the creature comforts of yesterday. You sit wondering if you will ever be satisfied as you search for peace

God IS awesome

So have you ever been in a place where you wondered if God heard a word that you were saying?

I know that I have talked about the idea of faith before, but I have learned that it is in the quiet times that God comes. This particular message is sparked by the sermon I heard LAST Sunday. The pastor at my church is notorious for allowing his new ministers to take the pulpit to hone their craft. He essentially creates a training ground that allows them to do what God has called them to do...

The message last week was entitled, " I Know the Owner." If you know me, you know what an impact music has had on my life. I don't just love music... I live eat and breathe it... and no I am not auditioning to be the next American Idol, but I really do think in music. When I am going through something... I often embrace a song during or after that seems to have described my experience. What is interesting about this particular sermon, is that he gave an example and used music. He described a girl who could sing... I mean really sing and when she sang she didn't get a huge ovation although you could tell she was talented. But this older woman, a mother of the church, nursing her grandson in the front sang a few bars of Amazing Grace... she didn't know the entire song, but when she sang you felt it in your spirit. The church was hollering and rejoicing when she sang. Afterwards the young girl went up to her and asked her what was her secret was, and her reply was simple... "I know the author"

Meaning simply that is was not just a song that she sang it was that she had lived the message. It was the soundtrack of her life. As he closed the message he urged us to PRAISE like we PRAY. Funny how we can call out to GOD in our time of need, in tears, nose running, crying and screaming his name, but once we get our breakthrough... we quietly raise a hand and whisper... a thank you.


THIS IS MY PRAISE... GOD IS GOOD... I GOT MY JOB... and I am moving to the CHI... to change the face of educational REFORM...